As someone a good 10 years on from the milestone, I would say this: there are the elements of feeling the march of time - the grey hairs, the creaking joints, the bigger muffin top. But that is compensated for by a more settled sense of self and MUCH less tolerance for people’s bullshit. I don’t have as much time, maybe, but these days I feel I use it more wisely.
That's good to hear Antonia. Although it does always worry me when people say they care less about what other people think because I have never really cared that much - it suggests a future of advanced eccentricity!
First of all, thanks for your comment! It's a bit of a thrill to have a psychologist commenting here as that's a long-term fascination of mine.
I think one of the things is we get satisfaction and happiness mixed up; we expect the things which satisfy us to make us happy and the things which make us happy to satisfy us. Writing my novel was a long, difficult process, and led to horrendous levels of rejection from the publishing industry - but it's out there now. I feel deep satisfaction at that; it's an achievement no-one can take away from me. But at every stage of the process I could have probably found something which would have made me happier in the instant.
In reality, we need both these emotions in a balance to make the best of our lives. We need to be happy in the day-to-day and with our loved ones; we also need to do deep work, often very difficult work, which leads to satisfaction and a sense of achievement. That's where too much of the advice about making the best of your life goes wrong - it tells us to either abandon everyday happiness or abandon working towards our goals, when in reality both need to be present and in the correct balance, as much as we can ever achieve that. Thanks for reading!
As someone a good 10 years on from the milestone, I would say this: there are the elements of feeling the march of time - the grey hairs, the creaking joints, the bigger muffin top. But that is compensated for by a more settled sense of self and MUCH less tolerance for people’s bullshit. I don’t have as much time, maybe, but these days I feel I use it more wisely.
That's good to hear Antonia. Although it does always worry me when people say they care less about what other people think because I have never really cared that much - it suggests a future of advanced eccentricity!
First of all, thanks for your comment! It's a bit of a thrill to have a psychologist commenting here as that's a long-term fascination of mine.
I think one of the things is we get satisfaction and happiness mixed up; we expect the things which satisfy us to make us happy and the things which make us happy to satisfy us. Writing my novel was a long, difficult process, and led to horrendous levels of rejection from the publishing industry - but it's out there now. I feel deep satisfaction at that; it's an achievement no-one can take away from me. But at every stage of the process I could have probably found something which would have made me happier in the instant.
In reality, we need both these emotions in a balance to make the best of our lives. We need to be happy in the day-to-day and with our loved ones; we also need to do deep work, often very difficult work, which leads to satisfaction and a sense of achievement. That's where too much of the advice about making the best of your life goes wrong - it tells us to either abandon everyday happiness or abandon working towards our goals, when in reality both need to be present and in the correct balance, as much as we can ever achieve that. Thanks for reading!