I will always respect your pronouns

So please respect the absence of mine

Like many, I’ve watched the debates over trans rights closely over the last few years – admitting straight off that it to a degree puts you on one side to acknowledge that there is a debate at all. As a former school debater, that strikes me as a foolhardy strategy; I can’t just show up to ‘This House Believes in the Disestablishment of the Church of England’ and say ‘I refuse to recognize the premise’, and striking an emotional pose – ‘Why are you making me debate this?’ – isn’t going to win me the motion. A frequent response to this is ‘Nobody should have to debate their right to exist’, but, however badly some people behave on social media, I simply cannot see that to be the question at the core of this conflict. But that’s why I think this matter is so toxic; there are indeed two sides, but they’re each having one side of a different argument, the one about identity, the other about the law.

I find myself biting off little bits of the argument I feel I can chew. I think that people should speak to each other respectfully, without fear of social shaming; it follows that I don’t think Twitter is the place for this discussion, and I don’t think the Graham Linehan approach to this issue helps anyone. I also recently read and enjoyed Kathleen Stock’s book ‘Material Girls’, and I will read Shon Faye’s soon, although I suspect a book equating trans liberation with anti-capitalism, certainly an ambitious position, may find a tough crowd in me. My friends probably think I’m slightly Gender Critical; Gender Critical people on Twitter have subjected me to several vicious pile-ons. Plus ça change.